The Journey to My Dream- Motherhood

The Journey to My Dream- Motherhood

Like any other young girl I had a dream. A dream to become a mother. I would put a blown up balloon under my shirt to imagine being pregnant, I just wanted to be a mom. When I met my husband, Matt, I instantly fell in love with him. We dated, got engaged, and married all within 6 months of meeting. We got married in December 2009. In February 2010 I was pregnant! So many emotions. Happy, excited, nervous, anxious, and more. 

My sister lived in Colorado and was getting ready to have a baby. My mom, my other sisters and I wanted to take a road trip to go help her get ready. Half way to our destination I had a horrible pain on my right side and couldn’t sit still, I was in so much pain. We made it to the ER and learned that I had what’s called an ectopic pregnancy. My right tube had ruptured and I needed emergency surgery to have my tube removed. I had lost the pregnancy and was just devastated.

The next year we kept trying and still no luck. Finally! February 2011 I was pregnant again. This time didn’t feel right. Come to find out It was another ectopic pregnancy but in my only remaining tube. Thankfully we were able to save my tube. But it happened again. I lost another pregnancy.

I started to see a holistic doctor. Went on lots of herbs, diets and all sorts of things. After about 8 months I finally got pregnant! Yay! Only to find out that I was miscarrying. This went on for a few years with three more losses. It was hard. It was frustrating. I just wanted to be a mom. Didn’t God want me to be a mom? Why was this not working out for me? I had so many questions go through my mind. Am I not worthy of having children? I was at an all time low. I prayed to my Heavenly Father. Please help me deal with this hard trial I was going through. Help me know the answers. I opened my scriptures and the verse that stuck out so well was about being patient in thine adversities and afflictions. I had this calming feeling come over me. I knew I could do it.

Matt and I decided that it was time to see a specialist. Utah Fertility Center got us in so quickly. All our test came back normal. Nothing seemed to be wrong with either of us. So we did 2 IUI’s. None of them took. After 4 1/2 years of all the heart ache I needed a break. I didn’t wanna think about it. I didn’t want to focus on it.

In January 2015, I decided it was time to go back to Utah fertility Center. In vitro was our next step. I had been working so hard to save up money by making cakes so we could be able to pay for this expensive procedure. Our friends did a littler fundraiser for us as well. I remember that first appointment. It was going to work. I had the faith and hope that this was it. The calendar was set up, the shots and meds were ordered and we were all in! The morning I went in for the egg retrieval surgery I looked as if I was six months pregnant. I had produced so many eggs, 60!! Out of all those 60 eggs at the end of day 5 I had only produced 3 healthy embryos.

On day five it's usually embryo transfer day. But because I produced so many eggs my body was over stimulated.  So it was not ready for the transfer. I had to wait another month. What’s one more month when you have waited 5 years, right?

Transfer day was finally here. We had two of our sweet embryos put in. Then the two week wait. The office will usually call with the results. But I wanted to be able to find out with Matt if we were pregnant or not. So I had made a cute little envelope. They would put inside the envelope "pregnant" or "maybe next time". I got the call and told Matt to go pick up the results. He had told me he would just leave work a little early, but 20 minutes later he called back. He couldn’t wait and had picked up the results and was on his way.

We went into the back yard of my parents's house. Family was waiting anxiously inside. Matt and I prepared ourselves for the worst. We slowly opened the envelope. PREGNANT! I was pregnant! My numbers were super promising. The day we found out we were pregnant with twins was the best day. We were having twins! I was as sick as could be while pregnant but loved every second of it.

November 25, 2015. We welcomed our sweet girls. Vivianne and Edith. Vivianne with a dark head of hair and Edith bald as could be. They were so different and beautiful and I was finally a mom. It’s been such an amazing journey.

Oh wait, we had one more embryo. Fast forward to 2021. I knew it was time. We hadn’t gotten pregnant on our own and I kept thinking about that last little embryo we had. We decided to keep it a secret from family and friends. So we transferred that sweet little embryo that had been frozen for six years. It worked. I was pregnant again. Not knowing the gender we did a blood test to find out that we were getting a sweet little BOY! Our hearts were so full!

March 9, 2022 my darling Darwin joined our family. Motherhood has been quite the adventure. Its not easy. It has many ups and many downs but it is one of the greatest things I have ever done in my life. Would I do it all over again just to know and experience the adventure of motherhood? You bet! These three kids are our everything.

We are so grateful for Utah Fertility Center for helping us get our sweet family.  And God. With out him nothing is possible. His timing is everything. Have patience with yourself. Keep the hope and have faith. It will all work out.

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